"It's too hot to handle" -Cruel Summer

I need this.
>>>>>>>>>>
Originally, I had about 8 paragraphs written about how life is bringing me down at the moment. I had typed about how my time is consumed with school or nothing at all. I started to comment about how hard a long distance relationship is. Deviling deeper, I was brought to think about how my life really isn't how I pictured it when I first began college or, hell, this past school year.

Then I remembered.

It's ok.

It's ok to be down. I can grieve for what could have been. Being angry is not a sin. But more importantly, it's ok, because everything will work out.

Yeah, I might not be where I think I need to be. Things can be falling apart and completely out of control, but God has a plan for me. He knows what I need, and He will deliver. I can be frustrated at not understanding what the hell He has planned. Yet, being frustrated and not having faith are two totally different things.

I have faith that He will take care of me. God will not leave me out to dry whether it's about a summer class or relationships or my future career. But sometimes it's hard to know when or what I should do.

"Oh God, why do you make it so hard?! Why do I feel rotten?," is something that I have found myself crying out lately.

Even though He's already given me the answer (to trust in Him), it doesn't make life a walk in the park all the time. Through it all, I try to remember.

It's ok.

hagandaaz.

"Ever since the accident she did both - laugh and cry - at unexpected moments." - A Soft Place to Land

This past weekend I embarked on an adventure. I flew up to Baltimore, Maryland to visit my boyfriend. It was not the first time I flew nor was it the longest flight I have ever been on (flying to Japan takes the cake), but it was the first time I flew all by my lonesome. I was a bit nervous, but I was even more nervous about sitting in between two strangers.

In order to calm my nerves, I bought a book. Buying books always brings a soothing feeling for me. This time I picked up A Soft Place to Land by Susan Rebecca White. Little did I realize that this book was not the best choice to read while flying in a plane.

Right from the very start, I was introduced to Naomi and Phil Harrison. They are a couple who have two daughters, Julia, Phil's stepdaughter, and Ruthie. In the prologue, Julia and Ruthie recount how their parents died in the Spring of 1993. Ruthie was in seventh grade and Julia was a sophomore in high school. Quickly, I discovered that Naomi and Phil were killed in a plane crash.

"Great," I thought to myself. "I'm about to board a plane, and I'm reading about how people died in a plane crash."

Atlanta, Ga. is the home of Julia, Ruthie and myself.

I made it through the prologue while sitting in the plane on the runway for a rain delay. While waiting, I started to read about what happened to the sisters after their parents slipped away from them. Before I knew it, I was sucked into the life of Ruthie: how she was forced to leave her life behind in Atlanta and start anew in San Francisco, how her relationship with her sister was influenced by outside forces and how the death of her parents continued to haunt her. The one constant in Ruthie's life is her sister.

Soon the story moves from Atlanta to San Francisco.

Even though she becomes somewhat bitter towards Ruthie, Julia is always Ruthie's big sister. She tries to protect Ruthie from blows life has thrown their way. Through her protectiveness, Julia ends up hurting Ruthie. And Ruthie, in turn, hurts Julia by blaming her for their parents deaths. However, throughout reading the book I couldn't help but think about a saying that I learned early on.

I don't know how many times I have heard the saying, "You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends." My mom was fond of saying this to me when I was younger. She would use it for when I would have problems with friends or when I would fight with my younger brother. It's true. No matter what, I know that my family is going to be there. For me, I will be forever linked to my brother. Ruthie and Julia are also forever linked together; they have their disagreements, but in the end their sister is there for the other one.

Myself and Nick, my younger brother, at a Braves game!

I enjoyed the book. The beginning and middle were full of colorful characters, experiences and memories from Ruthie. Yet, the ending is lacking. I found myself wanting to know more about a certain discover and how several things played out. But I understand why the author ended the way she did. I had traveled with Ruthie and Julia from 1993 to the present day. They didn't know how these things turned out, so I wouldn't either.

Overall, I was left with a greater appreciation for my family. I know that we will continue to have our disagreements, and push each others buttons. Yet, through it all, I can always be sure that my brother will have my back and be there when I need him the most no matter how far the distance.

Do I think you read this novel, then call your sibling (or closest person to it) and tell them you love them?

I think so.

4 out of 5 roses.

"Girl, where did you find that?" - Woman at Goodwill

As a college student I am forced to find cheap entertainment. Often I relish being able to go visit a state park for $3 or renting a movie for around $5. However, I absolutely positively enjoy going to thrift shops and browsing. Today myself and my partner in crime, Maygen, went to some of our favorite haunts - the Goodwill's in our hometowns.

Our goal for the day was to search for items to go in our "apartment" at Berry. In the end, we each found something that we plan to use in our homey space. I found these wonderful plates that appear unbreakable. Maegan discovered this red teapot along with six matching cups. We were able to quickly establish that these too are resistant to our touch (Maeghanne dropped one in the Goodwill ). Yet, we stumbled across these items, because we combed the store including the clothes, toys and pictures.

Maigeen with part of her lovely tea set.

Thrift shops and places like Goodwill or the Salvation Army never cease to amaze me. Because of them, people are able to embrace one of the 3 R's: reduce, REUSE and recycle. By receiving donations from people in the community they serve, these places reuse pretty much everything. I have not found a better example of turning someones trash into another's treasure. They have become the means of how a community takes care of its own.

I am also drawn to these establishments because of the people. The people who work there, the ones who shop and the individuals who donate. You never know what or who you are going to bump into at the Goodwill. Just today Megan and I "ran into" some people she new at her local Goodwill. We also had several conversations with people about what they were looking for, what we had at the time or some sparkly shoes. At these places, people are not snobs. Weird, maybe. But what they truly are is a community.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't go to these places. I have more than I need. In fact, I have to clean out my closet a lot. Often I combat the feeling that I am taking something away from someone who truly needs it. Then I look at my dinosaur cookie jar or my other new purchase (seen below) and those thoughts fly out the window. Honestly, who buy these things other than me?

The newest member of my Goodwill treasures.

Goodwills and other establishments like them are treasure troves. Not only of the material kind, but of the person kind.

Do I recommend going to the Goodwill, playing dress-up, digging through a bunch of crap to find that one item that calls to you, and making sure that you race a dump truck there?

Do I even have to answer that question? I think it's kind of obvious.

5 out 5 roses.

Below are several finds from our day at the Goodwills. They pretty much rocked our socks.

You can even buy hair there! I defintaly saw Meegan eyeing this peice.

These gloves were the apple of several people's eye (hence the title of this entry).

According to Maygean, she needs more feathers in her wardrobe. I agree.




The dress that reduces your breast size.

The dress that got away. My one regret is I didn't buy it :(

Pretty in Pink!

I should have gotten this one too. Oh well, there's always next time.

I can only hope this was a bridesmaid's dress.

This. Dress. Is. Awesome. Period.

The granny look.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

On another note, sorry for not posting recently. I was on vaykay with my family, and I will soon be flying to Merryland at the end of this week. I hope to have another review up by next Monday at the latest.

What have I gotten myself into?

I am challenging myself for a year. Really challenging myself. I don't know if it's because I'm slightly masochistic or really passionate, but I'm doing it. I am giving up meat (I can still eat seafood though) for a year starting today June 1st. I have my reasons for doing this. Having thought through them all and contemplating this for awhile (well about a month or more), I think I can do it. My reasons are as follow (in order of importance/impact):

1) It will broaden my horizons in the realm of food. I like a lot of foods, but to be honest, I'm a pretty picky eater. Since my earlier years, my palate for different taste and textures has grown. However, I often find myself getting tired of eating the same type of stuff over and over (mostly something with chicken). By doing this I am going to be forced into trying new things, which brings me to my next point.

Color, color and some more color.

2) Bye Bye Comfort Zone. Hello I-really-don't-want-to-do-this Zone. Like I said above, I am going to be forced into trying new things...even when I really don't want to.


3) Saving the environment. The meat production industry uses a lot of water to process meat. This is water that could be used somewhere else. The rain forest is mostly being cut down so that cattle have more room to graze. The amount of corn that is used during meat production is ridiculous. Land that is farmed for corn could be used for something else.

If my biology class taught me correctly, cows aren't supposed to eat corn, right?

4) Treatment of animals. Don't get me wrong. I love a good hamburger, some chicken or bacon anytime. I really do, but honestly I want something to have a semi-happy life before I eat it. I mean what if we were being farmed to eat? You would probably want a kind of blissful exist before the slaughter.


So those are my reasons. You can like them or leave them. Either way, I have started this journey. Be prepared for an entry every now and then about this, because I'm sure that when I go through the massive cravings, well, you'll know.

Tonight I will not review my experience, but hopefully there will be one at the end of all this. Wish me luck and keep smelling the roses!

Clauds

"Boogity, Boogity, Boogity" - D.W.

This may or may not come as a surprise, but I'm a huge NASCAR fan. No. Seriously. I will sit and watch a race through and through, constantly check the official website and have even participated in Fantasy Racing Leagues for it. I mean I wouldn't go as far to say that I am obsessed or have an unhealthy fixation on it, but I can say that Sunday and sometimes Saturdays can be made better when a race is on.

I can remember watching my first race. It was the Daytona 500. I got so caught up in it. Watching the cars go top speeds, wreck and learning all these new terms was invigorating. However, during my first experience with NASCAR, I was also exposed to the more sobering aspects of the sport. That Daytona 500 was the legendary Dale Earnhardt, Sr.'s last race. Ever. I watched the wreck that killed him. I watched him sacrifice his car (and ultimately himself) so that his son and teammate (a separate driver from Jr.) could go on to finish 1,2. I can't help but see the irony in the fact that my first race was his last. That was 9 years ago.

Feb. 18, 2001 Dale Earnhardt hit the wall head on. The wreck was fatal which lead NASCAR to make major advances in safety equipment for their drivers and fans.

Throughout those 9 years, I have changed and so has my love affair with NASCAR. I followed the sport and it's drivers (and teams) every week during the season until I went to college. I don't know what happened. I would catch a race every now and then, but mostly, I would hear about them from my mom. This season, though, I have been pretty faithful to watching or following the races online. I don't know how I got the bug again, but it's got a pretty good grip on me now.

I think it mostly has to do with introducing my boyfriend to the sport. He would tell me, "I just don't see what is interesting about watching cars go around in a circle." Then one day I convinced him to watch a race with me. Going through and explaining how the cars worked, how weather changed how controllable a car is, who the drivers were, how all the tracks are different from one another and the rules of the game worked, I realized how intricate and calculated the sport is again. Now he has picked out a driver to follow and would even watch the races with me.

Tonight I am writing a review of NASCAR (if that's even possible). This year they changed the rules. The drivers now race for more than points and ultimately the championship, they race for respect. Basically, NASCAR officials are letting the drivers do what they want on the track. This means more wrecks, fights and better racing. We are a third of the way through the season and, boy, has it been crazy. Just the race tonight (Coca Cola 600) there were fights after the race, crazy wreaks in the pits and nonstop action. I like the rule change. It has allowed the drivers to show themselves and not be afraid to handle their business with each on the track. And trust me. They have been taking full advantage of it.

Even though I pretty much am infatuated with NASCAR, there is one little draw back to it that keeps me from loving it. It's the lack of women in the sport. Really, I mean there isn't a written rule against allowing women to drive or be on a pit crew, but there isn't anyone that I know of. Of course, there are women who own teams or report or handle promotions (there's even a Miss NASCAR), but not a single driver or crew chief currently is a woman. Yes, there have been some women drivers to pop up, but you rarely hear about them. What is it about the sport that makes it hard for a woman to break through the ranks? I can only speculate about that. It might have to do with the fact that cars are more of a guy thing (stereotypical. I know.). Then, I'm sure there are some mighty tough walls or ideas that would need to be broken down. But honestly, I don't know.

Shannon Spake

What I do know, is when I was younger it was my secret dream to be a crew chief (the one who calls most of the shoots during a race for a driver/team). I doubt that my dream could happen now. But I would be willing to bet that my dream is not only mine, but it probably belongs to several younger girls. Hopefully, one day someone will rise up and have them change the most famous words in NASCAR from "Gentlemen start your engines" to "Drivers start your engines."

Because of this reason, I can't give NASCAR 5 roses. I really want to. I wish I could.

But do I recommend watching NASCAR or just talk to someone about it?

Yeah. I do.

4 out of 5 roses.

"Difficult, not impossible" -Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Ok. Let me first pick my jaw off from the floor and mop up the drool. Oh, Jake Gyllenhaal why do you have to be so ridiculously good-looking? Uh. I mean why do you have to be such a great actor?

You see what I mean?

No, but seriously I just got back from a thrill ride that left me wanting to be a kick-ass warrior who follows my heart. "Prince of Persia" was a lot of fun...well, for me. Others might be disappointed. Those others who have enjoyed the numerous video games that follow our dashing hero Dastan. Personally, I have never played the game so I give fair warning that this movie has been rumored to not live up to the game (surprise, surprise). I then will review it as just the movie.

Jake in video game form....uh...I mean the real Dastan!

As the movie opens, I could not help but be drawn to the days of Aladdin. Really, I leaned over to my partner in crime and voiced my opinion. Basically, it had won me over from there. Dastan, an orphan, defends his friend and draws the attention of the King of Persia (who already has two sons). Said King adopts Dastan as his third son. The movie then jumps a few years into the future where the viewer sees a vast army. Very quickly the viewer is introduced to the three sons and the King's brother. A decision is made to attack the Holy City of Alamut. It is at this time you get to see Dastan's video game moves. Of course there is this Princess Tamina who is the beauty of the day. Certain things lead to another and BAYAM you are ingrossed in the story.

Looking past the British accents, whiteness and feats of survival that are nonhuman in nature, I was able to discover a wonderful heartfelt story of sacrifice, faith and love. Without giving too much away, this movie is unpredictable and leaves the audience yelling, "Finally!" at the movie screen. It has several witty conversations, mostly stemming from Dastan and Tamina who fight for control over their situation. Overall, I really enjoyed myself. In fact, I would be willing to watch it again (which is rare). Girls will go see it for Jake. Guys will heart the killer (literally) action/ pretty girl.

Do I recommend "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time?"
You Betcha.

4 out of 5 roses.

"I wanna see them as radically laying down their lives for the Gospel" - Jesus Camp

Today I watched a movie. Well, it was more of a documentary, but regardless it left me with a ball of emotions. I was moved by the sheer determination, love and faith that was illistruated. Yet, the way in which these character traits were brought about, used and manipulated distrubed me. I couldn't help but think of past experiences in my own life brought about from youth camps, fiery sermons and powerful music. Today I watched "Jesus Camp."

I don't know if many of you have seen or heard about this film, but it follows several children and a children's minister, Becky Fischer, that are evangelical Christians. The film attempts to draw a correlation between evangelical Christians and a political movement that was happening at the time it was made (2006). Ole George W is portrayed as the leader in a 'war' against other religions. Fischer even exclaimes that "W" brought "creditability to the Christian faith." Fischer believes that children should be the warriors in this 'war.' To her, they are the answer or solution to the disastrous world that we live in. She even said she wants to lead children to give their lives for this spiritual war, specifically against Islam (see heading). Anyways, the film follows Levi,12, Rachel and Tory (both who are around eight or nine) through Jesus Camp. During the course of the movie, you see the children be exposed to claims that science is not valid to standing outside of the Congress building in our nation's capital promoting a pro-life agenda.

At times I could only shake my head at what was being fed to these little ones. It angered me by how these children were being manipulated to be miniatures of their parents. The mob mentality that was used to bring about reactions from them disgusted me. However, as I watched this I saw part of my childhood. No, I never had a man come speak to me about why abortion is wrong when I was 12. No, I never spoke in tongues. And no, I never handed out pamphlets on the street. But. But I have been told to be a warrior for God. I have been asked to go out, walk up to someone and tell them about Jesus. I have been told my generation is the answer.

I could only marvel at these little ones though. Their faith and love for the Lord overwhelmed me. Their passion for His will to be done and to be used for His glory pretty much shamed me. It made me remember what it is like to be a newbie as a Christian. How much I wanted to shout from the rooftops about how important my Lord was to me. The amount of confidence they has was enough to make me stare in amazement. (This mostly stems from the fact that I never have had the confidence or the guts to walk up to someone and ask if they knew where they were going after they die.)

After watching "Jesus Camp", I couldn't help but ask myself what changed me. What made me go from screaming the Lord's praises to whispering them to merely speaking them? I think the answer lies in my age, experiences and relationship with my BFFL, the J-man himself. These children believe that we live in the end of times. Really, I have no clue if we are or not. But I do know that people have been thinking the end of times were just around the corner for awhile. For them, it's now or never. For me, it's different. I rather love someone, experience a part of my life with them and hopefully, be kinda like the J-man (although, this rarly happens. I really lack his patience...among other things). I don't want to be on a pedestal. I can only hope that my friends can see that I am imperfect (I'm sure this is a shock to some), just so they can see ho much God's grace covers me. I can't be like those little ones. I can't be a solider like them. I can only try to love unconditionally (which is sometimes extremely hard). While I may merely speak the J-man's praises on a daily basis, I believe it is on a more intimate and personal level than ever before.

Do I recommend "Jesus Camp?"

Yes, I do.

I recommend it for those who are Christians and those who are not. You can choose to focus on the bad or the good. It shows both sides of the coin. And most importantly, it makes you reflect on what you believe and the impact you have in the world.

4 out of 5 roses.

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Phew. I don't think that was too shabby. Let me know what you think. Have you seen the movie? How do you think that you would handle a nine-year-old asking you about your final destination?