"Where is your backbone?" -There for tomorrow

I suck. No really. I do. I suck terribly at keeping up a blog. I'm not even going to make some stupid excuses like "I was busy" or "Life happened." Nope. Nada. Not here. Instead, I'm gonna jump right in on this thing.

Fall semester senior year in one word: Experience.

(I would have picked life lessons, added a hyphen and BAYAM. one word. But that's cheating...)

I learned a lot.

Not only did I learn things from my 18 hours of classes, but from certain experiences. Through the experience of getting my toes wet in the "real" world, I learned to not underestimate myself. I do this more than I should especially in the getting a job frame of mind. In November I attended a job fair which was all about sports where I gleamed two job offers. I was shocked. Sports is not an area that I had seen myself working in; however, that's changed.

The job market is like the life of a dino: eat or be eaten.

Move. I learned what this word truly means. Through all of my trouble this semester I learned that I have the ability to keep moving even when I feel like crumbling to the ground. Even though pain and sorrow suck, they showed me that I am truly my strongest when I feel like I am the weakest. Realizing that is priceless. It makes me thankful for my experiences this semester.

I lost a lot.

The source of my anguish this semester was of my own doing. I broke up with my then boyfriend of 2.5 years. That was one of, if not, the hardest things I've done in my life. I don't regret it. I know in my heart, soul and spirit that I made the right decision at that moment. By doing that, I lost one of my best friends. I lost a piece of my identity.

I gained a lot.

However, when I broke-up with him I gained something back. I gained the ability to focus on myself. The ability to give myself what I need: time. I need time to prepare myself for these traumatic things called "graduation/real world/omg what are bills?" moments. I gained the true realization that only I know what is best for me. I was able to prove to myself that I am becoming a full fledged adult.

Thanks to my lovely roomies for dealing with my depressing/moody/throwing shoes self this semester.

Yeah, saying this semester sucked could be the understatement of the year. I know that it was the worst in my college career thus far. However, it could also be said the be semester that forced me to grow up some. It might just be the semester that gave me the courage, the strength and the patience to not be afraid to go against others expectations.

I'm torn in rating this semester. Pain says give it negative roses. Wisdom says give it five. Compromise is key.

Three roses.